Can one be alone and in a group of people at the same time?

One or Many?

Sometimes I feel like that and wonder the same. I am not an evil mean spiteful person. Really, I’m not. *grins* albeit sometimes I wish I were.  So I wonder why is it that I can speak in this group and nobody, will reply? Does my chat scroll up that fast?  Have I done something wrong?  I know my Master will say “Why are you even worrying about it?” and I don’t know. The inquisitive nature of myself wants to ask that person(s) ” Cuál es el problema?”  or Whats the prob… bob?  Now the sarcastic nature of myself wants to ask that whilst in the group. LOL  Buuuuut. I won’t, I’ll just keep it inside and continue to distance myself a little bit at a time. How do you do that you may ask?  Well you see me sitting there right? Well I can do that by typing on my blog, watching youtube, glancing through flicker, keeping the window pushed to the side so just in case someone remembers that pudding actually is a person and speaks, I will hear it.

Sometimes I want to vent my frustrations out completely, but I dont want to offend or have someone upset. But again, this is my blog, so I should not care Right?   I know, I shouldn’t but I do. Well, sometimes I do. When I’m upset and just venting, right at that moment I don’t care. *smiles* But I’m not venting now.

Let me describe the picture, we are at the campfire in Haifa. The Friday night gatherings were held at the local tavern, but that was converted into a tea house. There is still a smaller tavern in the city but its an ‘anything goes’ tavern and private slaves, belted slaves are really not allowed in there. Technically Private slaves would not be in a tavern anyhow but, this is SL and ….. that sort of explains all that.  Soooooooo everybody gathers on the ex-Friday Night Tavern Nights and hang around the campfire.  I know, leaves you trembling with jealously thinking of all the fun huh?  A couple more have gathered since this picture was taken, but its still relatively quiet.   I think its because the gathered peoples are unsure about what to say, and what to do. Now, it would be easy if it were a regular tavern. The men would be drinking, the slaves serving, dancing and pleasing, and the free women gathered somewhere fussing about the men being in a tavern. heehee. Or they would be in the tavern, and the slaves would not be dancing nor pleasing just probably serving and probably just as bored as they are now.

Ya, know, from dealing with all the dung, I have had to deal with in the past. What does it matter if my thoughts are known? They are my thoughts, that’s it, nobody elses and I’m NOT going to get caught up in all that drama mess and whatever else you wanna call it.  Soooooo after thinking out loud, I change my mind. I dont want to ask privately or publicly, why you are not speaking to me. It could be a good think in my favor.

But that does not change the fact that I am bored out of my skull. I would rather be fighting through lag, trying to detach my feet from my ass and attach them to my legs. I have spoken 2 sentences in the past 45 minutes the first was an OOC welcome back and the 2nd was an “I wish you well good bye”  Now I did try, but have given up. And I bet most of the people are probably in IM chat, ’cause not much is going on in local.

But to answer the original question? Yes I do think that even in a group of people, a person can be completely and totally alone, especially when she is on the ignore list.  Time for me to go exploring. Ohhhhh I found a cool place that I should talk about but, whew…..all this.

*laughs and laughs* why is it that when one person starts to leave, everybody uses it as an excuse to get up and leave also. Dang, if I was a Free I would do that also.   Welp…………….. I have nothing else to say soooooooo, except.

That is all…………….


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